Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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