She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
