its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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