she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
