Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
