were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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