Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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