If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
