Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
