Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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