Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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