btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
