So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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