Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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