is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
