Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
