I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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