You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Randomize
