erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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