Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
