tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
