Plan B is the new Plan A
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
