So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
