Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
