i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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