On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
