Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
