i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
