i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
