it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
