when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
