She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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