dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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