there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
