Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
