Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
