If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
