I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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