My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
