Got a toothbrush?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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