Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
