When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
