I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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