It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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