There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
