My brain says no but my pants say off.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
