Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
