One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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