we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
