why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
