you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
