YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
