i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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