Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
