walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
