I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
